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│ 👁️ YOU ARE VISITOR NUMBER: 1 4 7 , 3 9 2 👁️ │
│ 🕐 LAST UPDATED: literally right now │
│ 📟 ESTABLISHED: 1998 (in internet years) │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
⚡ BREAKING NEWS ⚡ Currently launching Flourish or Forfeit - put money where your affirmations are! Beta testing NOW!
🏁 RACING UPDATE 🏁 Evolution of Speed set WORLD RECORDS with our Supra! Check stats below!
💼 AVAILABLE FOR HIRE 💼 $250/hr for Rails optimization | Database wizardry | Performance tuning
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🔥 flourish or forfeit 🎨 markbin.net 🔗 knkylinks **💼 shadow work` |
🏆 ACHIEVEMENTS:
⚡ POWER LEVEL: over 9000 🎯 STRATEGY: Underdog status = competitive advantage |
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║ ║
║ 💎 RUBY ON RAILS → the one true path ║
║ 🐘 POSTGRESQL → with queries so complex they make devs cry ║
║ 🐧 ARCH LINUX → btw (Framework 16" laptop) ║
║ 🌊 HYPRLAND → because tiling WMs are superior ║
║ ☁️ AWS FARGATE → containers in the cloud ║
║ 🏗️ TERRAFORM → infrastructure as code ║
║ 📱 TWILIO → A2P 10DLC certified SMS ║
║ ⚡ SIDEKIQ → background jobs that actually work ║
║ 🎨 TAILWIND → but tastefully, no gross stuff ║
║ ║
╚═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
Put on ████████████████████ 100%
my ███████████████████░ 5%
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Suffering Terraform ████████████░░░░░░░░ 60%💾 DOWNLOAD FREEWARE • SHAREWARE • OPEN SOURCE GREATNESS 💾
| 📦 PACKAGE | 📝 DESCRIPTION | ⭐ RATING | 📥 STATUS |
|---|---|---|---|
| tiny-php | Reversible base62 ID obfuscation magic | ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | STABLE |
| holmes | Mobile detection that doesn't suck | ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ | MATURE |
| nil | Null object pattern for PHP | ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ | SOLID |
| statsd-arduino | StatsD client for Arduino boards | ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ | WORKS |
| zackstrap | Bootstrap dotfiles (written in Rust) | ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | BLAZING |
| tree-weaver | ASCII tree → nested file paths (Erlang) | ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ | FUNCTIONAL |
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║ 💝 ALL CODE IS GPL/MIT LICENSED BECAUSE SHARING IS CARING 💝 ║
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
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"Shipping beats perfection"
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"There's no replacement for displacement" 🏁
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
║ SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS ║
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║ 🖱️ INPUT: Mouse with scroll wheel ║
║ ⚡ CONNECTION: 56k modem minimum (T1 recommended) ║
╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
because shipping > perfection
┌────────────────────────────────────┐
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